Bacon related crime

Bacon....

Mmmmmmmm, bacon!!!!

Yes folks, bacon.  I have only met one person who told me that they didn't like bacon.  I am sure there are more people who should have their heads examined, but so far I have met only one.  Everything is better with bacon.  Bacon is one of the few foods that are generally expected to be seen at every meal.  Bacon and eggs for breakfast, BLT for lunch, Bacon wrapped filet mignon for dinner.  Bacon is just as good fried, broiled, and microwaved.  I love bacon.  I am betting that most of you do too.  But like all things, there are a few people who take their love of bacon to an illogical extreme.  Here are just a few of those stories.

1.  Don't touch Grandma's bacon!


June 28, 2011, a nine year old boy decided that he wanted a couple extra pieces of bacon at breakfast.  What happened next is best explained by the police report that followed...

To summarize, witnesses stated that Mrs. Kolynych had chased her 9-year-old grandson through the yard. She threw him to the ground and was sitting on top of him, pinning him down and beating him on his legs. She was spraying water at very close range into (the child’s) face. The nozzle setting of the hose was on full force.

During the alleged assault on the lawn, the child was yelling for help, screaming, kicking and squirming in attempts to get away, officials said. “He was able to break free and ran across the street, using a neighbor’s phone to call his mother,” Press wrote in the affidavit.

 The child’s mother was able to separate the two, with Kolynych allegedly giving chase again after the boy. “Apparently, he ate more bacon than anyone else at breakfast,” Press said. “She was yelling at him and picking on him all day because there wasn’t enough bacon for everyone.”

Kolynych was arraigned on charges of endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment and disorderly conduct.

Lesson:  Don't mess with Grandma's bacon.

2.  Late night hunger crime? 


Late night, 2 men and a kid, all hungry.  What to do, what to do?  According to an Anderson police probable cause affidavit, police received an alarm at Strong’s Market, 1909 W. Eighth St. When police arrived just after 1 a.m., an officer saw two men standing behind the store and a second walking out of the freezer carrying a box. When the officer activated his lights and sirens the three suspects ran — two dropping boxes as they ran. What were they carrying you ask?  Boxes of bacon.   The value of the bacon was about $90.

3.  Gimme my pan!


A dispute over the ownership of a frying pan Friday night led to third-degree burns for one South Bend man and 11 stitches for another, police reports said.  A 49-year-old man was cooking bacon on the stove at a house in the 600 block of Lincoln Way East when his 47-year-old brother-in-law claimed the pan was his, the report said. The argument led to the man cooking cornering the younger man into a closet and spilling hot grease on the younger man. The report said the 47-year-old then grabbed the pan from his attacker and hit him in the head twice.


The 49-year-old was taken to an area hospital were he received 11 stitches before being arrested for assault, the report said. But the man who received third-degree burns on his hands told police he did not wish to press charges.  Police did report finding two pieces of bacon in the closet.



4.  No good deed goes unpunished


A Winder man reported he let a woman enter his residence to use the bathroom and she repaid the favor by helping herself to meats from his refrigerator.

The complainant said he had let the woman in to use his bathroom and then heard her open his refrigerator before leaving. When the man checked, he noticed ham, pork chops and bacon missing.

The resident told police he knows the woman from the neighborhood as she was living in a shack behind a house nearby.


5.  Hotel bacon 


 Andre wanted some bacon.  He wasn't gonna let anything stop him.  Who cares if he is on probation for prior offenses. He decided to walk into the Holiday Inn on April 1 as if he were heading to a room. On his way to the back he detoured through the kitchen where he helped himself to two cases of bacon and six cases of waffles. 


Everyone knows, Holiday Inn bacon is the best hotel bacon money can buy.  (or that you can try to get on a five finger discount)

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