Are we too hard on our kids?

I had a few other topics in mind for this blog, however, once I saw the video below, I changed my mind at once.  This video has gone viral across the internet.  If you haven't see it, it's the greatest 8+ minutes in the history of online video.  Take a peek:



To summarize, this father has had enough.  His daughter drove him to the point of taking a .45 caliber handgun, and putting 8 shots into a laptop.  He could have sold it, he could have given it away, but he was so incensed at his daughters behavior, he popped a cap in it!  (8 caps to be exact)

I have a 16 year old daughter and a 14 year old son.  Anyone who has teenagers today should be able to understand the frustration that this father felt over the lack of respect he has been shown.  Somewhere along the lines, this has become the norm instead of the exception.  Kids have been rebellious forever.  I personally remember myself, my sister, and a friend of my sisters who decided it was a very good idea to go trash someones car with things like toilet paper, windex, butter, and scotch tape (among several other things).  Kids do stupid things all the time.  Sometimes those things cost a lot of money (see above car trashing).  What I don't remember was a sense of entitlement that seems prevalent among the youth of today.

My kids have WAY more than I and my brothers and sisters ever had.  Computers, iPods, cell phones, iPads, not to mention all the clothes, shoes, ect.  They go without nothing.  My kids have been on multiple Caribbean cruises.  My wife and I have worked really hard to make sure that we could provide them with all the things they could ever need.  Looking back, I question this decision.  Perhaps we made a mistake.  The more kids seem to have today, they more they think they deserve.

We ask that our kids do chores, follow our instructions, get good grades, don't act like fools, and most importantly, show respect to us and to others.  Is it too much to ask?  Are we too hard on our kids?  My opinion (and since this is MY blog, I guess I can state it) is no, we are not hard enough on our kids.  Life is too easy for them.  I remember buying my first car.  I worked.  I earned the money.  I paid for the auto insurance for it (which actually cost way more than the car!).  I understood clearly what it took to get it.

Kids today seem to have this complete and total lack of respect thing.  Now when I was a teenager, I knew more than my parents too.  I thought they were every bit as much of a moron as my daughter and son think I am now.  The difference is that many teenagers today feel that they can tell their parents anything they want and that there are no repercussions to it.  I give you a food, shelter, clothing, cell phone, computer, money, be your taxi, ect and in exchange you can act as you please and say what you like?  Sounds fair, lets have more kids!

Facebook makes it even worse because there is some pressure on a kid to show off for their friends.  They use language they shouldn't and think it's cool.  I was a teenager once.  I used bad words too.  Yes, shocking, I know.  I am not such a idiot as to think that kids wouldn't use such language.  Its the lack of respect shown that they think they can use such language openly.  Posts on Facebook are NOT hidden, ever.  Text messages are NOT hidden, ever.

I think my kids are good kids.  I also think they make some really stupid decisions from time to time.  I feel like they do have a sense of entitlement and I think that it is mostly my fault.  I make them work for things they have, and I enforce the rules, but since they have never done without, they don't know what that is like.  They have always had everything they wanted or needed and thus feel that is the way life is.  You are born, everything you want or need is provided, ect.  People are motivated in life by two things, pleasure and pain.  When the pain of an action exceed the pleasure of an action, change occurs.  When the pain of acting like a fool (pain provided by me in the form of punishments) exceed the pleasure of acting like a fool, then they stop acting like a fool.  Otherwise they continue their foolishness.  My first duty as a parent is NOT to be their friend.  I think sometimes we forget this small rule.  It is our duty to prepare them for real life, and very few get all of their wants, needs, and desires met in real life.

Congrats to the dad in that video.  You made the decision to do all you could to help your child prepare for real life.  Sometimes, real life puts a bullet in your best laid plans.

Please feel free to comment below.