5 things that annoy me...

I am fairly laid back.  I am an easy going kinda guy.  Ask people who know me.  They will tell you.  That Jesse is an ok fella!  He doesn't get angry or go on rants.  Ever.  

Ok, ok, ok.  Stop laughing.  It's true, I do get annoyed easily on occasion but some things really have the ability to set me off.  I can tolerate most anything in small increments but some things are just too annoying for words.  

You will notice the topic is 5 things that annoy me.  There are WAAAAY more than 5 things that annoy me but for the sake of brevity, I am sticking to 5 this time.  So without further ado...

Facebook Poking

Really?  We have more technology in our calculators than the astronauts had in the first moon mission and what do we do with it?  I poked you, he he he!  Poke me back!  So let me understand, we use our computers to press a button, sending a signal from our homes, through the air, up to satellites, back down to earth, back through more wires and air, into someone elses home to let them know that we virtually poke them.  I can hear it now "But Jesse, its just a bit of fun!"  No, video games are fun.  Tossing a ball to your dog is fun.  Jumping on a trampoline is fun.  Pressing the word poke and waiting for someone else to press the word poke is NOT fun.  Its stupid.  Stop it.  Really.

Are you okay?

Now before you go all crazy here, let me clarify.  When someone is sick, and you are legitimately concerned for their health and well being, it is perfectly acceptable to ask if someone is okay.  I have Crohn's Disease.  It is a legitimate chronic illness that is quite debilitating.  Most people who know me know that I have it.  They also know that I have been in the hospital and they ask me if I am feeling okay.  This is fine.  As a matter of fact, if you truly care if I am okay or not, I welcome the question.  HOWEVER, some people feel the need to ask every single time they see someone how they are feeling and if they are okay.  This would be fine if you only saw this person, oh say once a week.  But when you see someone SEVERAL TIMES A DAY please stop asking if they are okay.  Most people ask this question rhetorically.  They ask it because they feel that it is not socially acceptable to have a conversation with someone who is ill without addressing the illness in some way.  It isn't necessary, I will like you regardless of the fact of my health and will like you more if you STOP ANNOYING THE LIVING BEJESUS OUTTA ME!!!  :)

Bratty Kids

I am sitting in a quiet restaurant with my wife, having a pleasant meal, asking her about how her day was, catching up on all the things that I have missed.  Suddenly, I feel a piercing set of eyes burning a hole through the side of my head and into my soul.  I slowly turn my head and staring directly in my ear hanging over the back of my seat is a 3 year old.  Their face and hands are covered with whatever they were eating, mushed up and gross, and I hear "HI!  WANT SOME CAKE!!!"  Then they pat me on the shoulder, messy hands and all, on my white dress shirt.  AWWWW, isn't that cute?  HECK NO!!!  Then they get up and run around in circles screaming "BRRRRR BRRRRR I AM AN AIRPLANE!!!"  All the while, the parents of that kid continue to hold their conversation as if nothing is happening.  I don't blame the kid, they are 3 and dont know any better.  Why dont they know any better?  Because their idiot parents arent taking the time to teach them any better, that's why!  If my kid acted that way, it would only happen once.  Guaranteed.

Telemarketers

I am in sales and the telephone is very important.  I understand that.  I try my best to be polite to telemarketers because they have a very hard job and most people are rude to them.  But if you call me, and I tell you no thank you and that I am not interested my decision will not change if you call me back 37 more times or if you just keep telling me the same thing over and over.  It pushes my politeness to the edge and makes me want to find you and punch you in the face repeatedly.  Just sayin.

Scam Artists

RING RING:  Unknown number call

Me:  Hello?  

Them:  Could I speak to XXXXXX?   (in a Jamaican accent)

Me:  This is he.

Them:  First off let me say congratulations!  Your name was selected among thousands of entrants for a $25,000 prize and a brand new 2012 Mecedes Benz!  How do you feel!

Me:  (Sarcastically) Thats great!  Wow!  I am Ex-ci-ted!

Them:  That's great.  Now first I have a few questions for you.  What do you plan to do with all that money!

Me:  Well, I don't know.  I probably will go out and buy a cow.  Not a live one, but a butchered one.  I love beef, but now that I think about it I will need a bigger deep freezer.  A cow is a lot of beef.  How much do you think a cow weighs?  

Them:  That's great.  And have you seen any of the new 2012 Mercedes Benz's?

Me:  I am not so sure buying a whole cow is a good idea after all.  I mean I do love beef but how long would it take to eat a whole cow?  And what about the parts of the cow that I dont eat.  Like liver.  I dont eat liver.  Do you eat liver?

Them:  That's great.  Now do you live near a Wal-mart?

Me:  Yes, I do.  As a matter of fact, I am passing a Wal-mart right now.  But really, unless you live in Jamaica, doesn't everyone live near a Wal-mart?

Them:  That's great.  So I want to help you claim your prize.  Will you be home tomorrow around 4:00pm?

Me:  Yes

Them:  That's great.  We will have someone there tomorrow with the new car, but to help expedite the process, we need to take care of a couple of things.  First there is taxes and processing of your prize.  If you could stop at Wal-mart, I will give you a processing code and you will need to Western Union us $300 to cover the fees.

Me:  (Angrily because I am tired of this game) So let me get this straight, I won a prize from a contest that I didn't even enter, and to collect this prize I have to wire you $300?  And you expect me to buy this line of bull?  I have no doubt that you realize this is illegal.  

Them:  Click!

Sad part, how many people actually fall for this crap?  Yeah, I know, too many.

_______________________________________________________________________

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Lest we not forget... A trip to the Virginia War Memorial

From time to time I come across things that make me think a lot about where we are as a nation, and especially where we have been.  A famous man once said "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  This quote rings especially true today as we have been involved in so many disputes with nations around the world and it appears that will be a trend that is not going to change in the near future.  What got me thinking about this was a recent trip I took to the Virginia War Memorial in Richmond, VA.

In an earlier blog I said that my son is in the Civil Air Patrol.  He has expressed his desire to join the Air Force when he graduates.  He takes his duties in the CAP very seriously.  He has been in for about 15 months and is about to receive his 4th promotion from the rank of Senior Airman to Staff Sergeant.  He loves to watch the history channel.  He enjoys reading and learning about history.  I think its especially important for him to clearly understand our nations military history so that he can be fully educated in his decision to serve our country's armed forces.  

One of the things I love about the Virginia War Memorial is that when you walk in, you are greeted immediately by one of the docents.  Most of the docents are Vets themselves.  They aren't just talking about what happened, they lived it.  They know, or they themselves are the people in many of the pictures on the walls.  Many of them personally contributed to the exhibits.  For them, the information isn't just history, but it is memories.

Outside the facility you are hit immediately with the sheer size and scope of the place.  There is a huge monument erected with the names of all the Virginians who have lost their lives in combat from WWI through the Persian Gulf.  The view is majestic as the hillside overlooks the river and the cityscape of Richmond.  They do not charge entry to the memorial, but they do have ways you can contribute if you would like.  One of those ways is to purchase a "brick".  On that brick you can have something printed.  Most of the bricks are memorials to veterans in the area.  Its a great way to memorialize a person.

Once inside the facility you realize that there is far to much to take in for just one day.  They have a wide selection of videos that you can choose from in the theater and a show that I wont spoil for you, but will amaze you!  The exhibits are amazing as well.  They range from the revolutionary war through modern times.

The vast majority of whats displayed are actual items from the time period and not replicas.  The weaponry, the medals, the uniforms, and small pieces and parts from actual battleships bring you as close to the history as possible.  Each display contains information specific to the event, not just overall, but snippets of history relevant to Virginians.

They have a great display on the history of women in the military as well.  A view of the changes in the uniforms over the years show just how things have really changed.

Letters, communications, and telegrams over the years are displayed as well.  When you read the words "I regret to inform you..." it brings home the sacrifices that these people gave for all of us.

They have an entire library of books and videos that can be used for research.  They have conference rooms and large areas that can be rented out for just about any purpose from parties, meetings, and receptions.  The views outside make for a beautiful backdrop for photos.  Most importantly, there is a tremendous amount that can be learned from just spending time there.

My son asked me after we left when we could go back again.  He wants to look at all of movies they have available.  He wants to spend time in that library as well.  We will be going back very soon.  I spoke to his commander about having the whole group go together so that they can all get this experience.  It is an experience he will not forget, but just as important, it will help to shape him as he grows within his own military experience.  If you are visiting the Richmond area in the future, make this one of your can't miss stops along the way.  It is well worth the time spent.

Please feel free to comment below and please share.  Thanks!

Valentine's Day

As I write this it is 7:00 pm on February 13th.  Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  Right now, there are thousands of people desperately seeking out that special gift for that special someone.  Thankfully, I am NOT one of those people but why do we do this?  Why do we celebrate Valentine's Day?

The first Valentine's Day was celebrated in 496 A.D. and created by Pope Gelasius I.  It was a Christian holiday celebrating Saint Valentine.  There were several saints known by this name and feasts were held each February 14th in commemoration of them.  It wasn't until Geoffrey Chaucer linked the holiday with romantic love that we have the holiday that we have today.  It was in the 15th century that giving flowers, sweets, and greeting cards became attached to the day.  (thank you Wikipedia!)

There are a few schools of thought about Valentine's Day and its meaning.  Some believe it to be a highly commercial day, believed to be created by greeting card companies like Hallmark so that more cards can be sold.  Unless Hallmark was founded in the 15th century, this cannot be true, but the sentiment is understandable.  The US Greeting Card Association estimates over 190 million valentines are given out each year in the US alone.  When you include cards handed out at schools, that number skyrockets to over 1 billion!  Over 15 million e-Valentines were sent out in addition to this.  So yes, someone is making a LOT of money, and this is just the greeting card industry alone.  Florists, confectioners, restaurants, jewelers, and countless other industries see an appreciable boost to sales around this date.

Others believe that not professing one's undying love for another on this day equates to sacrilege.  Some people need to be showered with flowers and candy and be taken out to lavish meals and expensive shows to reinforce that their significant other loves them.  Everyone knows the amount someone loves you is directly proportionate to the amount of money it costs them on Valentine's Day.  (note the sarcasm)

Studies show the divorce filings rate skyrockets by nearly 40% around this day.  This day, and really just about every day after January 1st, is a constant reminder of one's personal love situation.  If you are miserable, the pressure continues to mount until it bursts.   Walk into any Wal-mart, Target, florist, mall, jewelry store, or really about anywhere else after New Years and you will see tons of reminders of the upcoming day.  If one is single, the pressure to not be seen as lonely on this one particular day rises.  If one is married, the pressure to impress your significant other on this one particular day rises.  If one is married or dating but that relationship is on the rocks, the pressure is amplified.  If one is married or dating and things are going great, this day can screw it up for you.  Underestimating the social pressures that Valentine's Day can put on a relationship can end you.

I believe that Valentine's Day is unnecessary in a healthy relationship.  I do not need a specific day to reinforce the fact that I love my wife and she loves me.  She loves me 365 days a year.  (or maybe only about 335 days leaving in about 30 days where I am a royal screw up and she wants to have me eviscerated.)  Even at that, I still do something to recognize the day.  Is it social pressure?  Perhaps.  Would she be angry if I let the day pass without doing anything?  I don't think so, but why risk it?  One could view Valentine's Day as a day to atone for the mistakes of the past year.  (but believe me, if you let a whole year pass without atoning for your screwups, you wont make it to Valentine's Day)

So what to do for Valentine's Day?  I got asked this question by a few readers recently.  I am writing this from the male perspective.  Here are some suggestions:

• If you think you need to spend a lot of money on Valentine's Day, you are either doing it wrong or the one you are with is shallow.  Dump them and move on.
• If you plan to give a gift, make it unique.  If you give flowers weekly, giving flowers again is not special or memorable.  
• If she is on a diet, candy isn't a smart move.
• My wife loves getting a mani/pedi.  The value of sending her off for a day to get this done cannot be understated for her.  Same with a massage.  That being said, if money is tight, DIY!  You think should wouldn't love a massage by you?  Or a great foot/hand rub with massage oils and bath salts?  (if you dont know what these are, try google) 
• Dinner - If they ask "Would you like fries with that?", go elsewhere.  If money is tight, a candlelit meal cooked by you at home cannot fail, unless you are the world's worst cook, and even then it still might work.   
• If you are married or living together and you can afford it, bring in someone to clean.  If you can't afford it, clean it yourself.  Of course, all chores around the home should be shared, but there is a LOT of value in taking care of the things she takes care of, even if its just for a day. 
• Women want to be appreciated.  They can be supremely confident and your relationship can be rock solid, but she will still melt if you tell her how much you care and why.  The why is really important.  I love you is good.  I love you because without you my life would be incomplete and my world would crumble is much better.  
• For the women - most guys needs are pretty simple.  We don't want flowers or candy or jewelry (unless you really want to buy us a nice Rolex).  They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and to some extent that is true, but some might argue that there are much faster ways.  I will let you figure out what those are.  :)  We also wouldn't pass up a weekend in Vegas or 36 holes on a future weekend at a local golf course.  

Only a few hours to go, good luck to you in your quest to make this Valentine's Day a good one.  May you get exactly what you want and give even better!  Please comment below and share.  (a Valentines gift for me from you, click that Facebook share link to the right there!)

Hugs and Kisses to you all!

Just Jesse

Are we too hard on our kids?

I had a few other topics in mind for this blog, however, once I saw the video below, I changed my mind at once.  This video has gone viral across the internet.  If you haven't see it, it's the greatest 8+ minutes in the history of online video.  Take a peek:



To summarize, this father has had enough.  His daughter drove him to the point of taking a .45 caliber handgun, and putting 8 shots into a laptop.  He could have sold it, he could have given it away, but he was so incensed at his daughters behavior, he popped a cap in it!  (8 caps to be exact)

I have a 16 year old daughter and a 14 year old son.  Anyone who has teenagers today should be able to understand the frustration that this father felt over the lack of respect he has been shown.  Somewhere along the lines, this has become the norm instead of the exception.  Kids have been rebellious forever.  I personally remember myself, my sister, and a friend of my sisters who decided it was a very good idea to go trash someones car with things like toilet paper, windex, butter, and scotch tape (among several other things).  Kids do stupid things all the time.  Sometimes those things cost a lot of money (see above car trashing).  What I don't remember was a sense of entitlement that seems prevalent among the youth of today.

My kids have WAY more than I and my brothers and sisters ever had.  Computers, iPods, cell phones, iPads, not to mention all the clothes, shoes, ect.  They go without nothing.  My kids have been on multiple Caribbean cruises.  My wife and I have worked really hard to make sure that we could provide them with all the things they could ever need.  Looking back, I question this decision.  Perhaps we made a mistake.  The more kids seem to have today, they more they think they deserve.

We ask that our kids do chores, follow our instructions, get good grades, don't act like fools, and most importantly, show respect to us and to others.  Is it too much to ask?  Are we too hard on our kids?  My opinion (and since this is MY blog, I guess I can state it) is no, we are not hard enough on our kids.  Life is too easy for them.  I remember buying my first car.  I worked.  I earned the money.  I paid for the auto insurance for it (which actually cost way more than the car!).  I understood clearly what it took to get it.

Kids today seem to have this complete and total lack of respect thing.  Now when I was a teenager, I knew more than my parents too.  I thought they were every bit as much of a moron as my daughter and son think I am now.  The difference is that many teenagers today feel that they can tell their parents anything they want and that there are no repercussions to it.  I give you a food, shelter, clothing, cell phone, computer, money, be your taxi, ect and in exchange you can act as you please and say what you like?  Sounds fair, lets have more kids!

Facebook makes it even worse because there is some pressure on a kid to show off for their friends.  They use language they shouldn't and think it's cool.  I was a teenager once.  I used bad words too.  Yes, shocking, I know.  I am not such a idiot as to think that kids wouldn't use such language.  Its the lack of respect shown that they think they can use such language openly.  Posts on Facebook are NOT hidden, ever.  Text messages are NOT hidden, ever.

I think my kids are good kids.  I also think they make some really stupid decisions from time to time.  I feel like they do have a sense of entitlement and I think that it is mostly my fault.  I make them work for things they have, and I enforce the rules, but since they have never done without, they don't know what that is like.  They have always had everything they wanted or needed and thus feel that is the way life is.  You are born, everything you want or need is provided, ect.  People are motivated in life by two things, pleasure and pain.  When the pain of an action exceed the pleasure of an action, change occurs.  When the pain of acting like a fool (pain provided by me in the form of punishments) exceed the pleasure of acting like a fool, then they stop acting like a fool.  Otherwise they continue their foolishness.  My first duty as a parent is NOT to be their friend.  I think sometimes we forget this small rule.  It is our duty to prepare them for real life, and very few get all of their wants, needs, and desires met in real life.

Congrats to the dad in that video.  You made the decision to do all you could to help your child prepare for real life.  Sometimes, real life puts a bullet in your best laid plans.

Please feel free to comment below.

5 ways to get ahead at work

Getting ahead at work isn't easy.  The competition can be fierce in the best of times.  In today's economy, better watch out!  Employers are looking to retain their top talent and they wont hesitate to replace those who are not performing at the top of their game.  Resumes are flooding into employers by the hundreds and there are plenty of very well qualified people with major degrees sitting on the sidelines.

In my career, I have hired hundreds of people.  I always looked for a few basic things to help me select top talent.  Things like good common sense, dedication, intelligence, effective problem solving, the ability to serve the customer, and the ability to sell.  And selling isn't limited to customers.  I wanted those who were hungry and wanted more for themselves.  I wanted to know I would get your best each day and that getting ahead was just as important to you as it was for me.  Here are 5 things you need to do to get ahead at work.

1.  Sell yourself - Whether you have been there for 25 years or are just getting interviewed, selling yourself is a must.  It is an ongoing thing as well and something that employees tend to forget about after they get the job.  Employers are looking for talent that are able to do any and everything.  It isn't hard to get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing, day in and day out because your employer only sees you for what you have always done.  Step up.  Ask for new assignments that are different.  Explain to your employer why you are suited for these tasks and how you will go about doing them.  Discuss what your boss sees as areas that you could improve upon and sell an action plan to them on how you will improve.  You have to stay top of mind for you to get ahead.  If you boss doesn't envision you being able to do a job, you wont be doing it.  This is why selling yourself is so important.  You must convince your employer that you can and will be good at whatever it is you are shooting for.

2.  Stop thinking that your employer will be fair - So you have been there for 5 years and you are next in line.  Its only fair that you get the next shot, right?  Wrong.  Just like life, work isn't fair either.  Are women paid less in some lines of work still, yes.  Are certain types of people discriminated against still, yes.  Will you boss overlook you for someone else just because they don't like you as much, yes.  It happens.  You must see and understand a barrier to success in order to overcome it.  It would be nice if all things were fair, but since they aren't what matters is how you overcome those things.  Meeting those challenges head on will help you get ahead at work because it allows you to still be forward thinking instead of being blindsided.  Don't be caught off guard.

3.  Use your evaluations as leverage - Most employees are reviewed annually.  Those reviews contain the keys to getting ahead.  Your boss will tell you what you are doing great and what you need to improve upon.  Do not be afraid to ask what happens when those improvements are made.  Express your desire to be promoted or to get a raise and ask specifically what you need to do to get there.  Simply expressing the fact that you want more in your career can sometimes lead to getting it.  People who don't speak up usually get left behind.

4.  Don't be a jerk - Sounds simple enough doesn't it?  But lets be real, if you understand that work isn't always fair, then you must also understand that just because you work the hardest, are the most dedicated, and most qualified doesn't mean you will get the promotion or raise you want.  Fair or not, your boss has an expectation as to how they will be treated by you.  Some bosses are laid back, easy going, and seem to be just one of the gang.  Don't be fooled into believing this to actually be true.  They will remember everything you say, good and bad.  Some bosses are flat out jerks and expect you to kiss butt daily.  If you can't kiss his butt, find another job or don't expect to move up.  I already said it wasn't fair didn't I?

5.  Become indispensable - You want to be in the position of them needing you more than you need them.  Learn every job you can.  Fill your bosses skill sets so that when they aren't around you can handle anything that arises.  Fill out a skill set that no one else in the office has, then show why the office needs it.  Be the creative one who comes up with ideas to make work easier and/or more profitable.  This allows you to pitch these ideas to the boss and sell just how important you are to the team and why you shouldn't be overlooked.

These are just 5 areas that can help you improve your place within your company.  What things have you found to be most effective in getting ahead at your job?  Please comment below!

Superbowl Sunday - Patriots or Giants

Ok, lets keep this really simple.  No need to log in, just comment below.  Who ya got?

New England Patriots

vs

New York Giants

What kids should do with their free time...

I was 14 year old.

Deja vu?  Feels like I started this way before.

A good friend of mine invited me down to the fire station when I was 14 years old.  They had a cadet program and he wanted me to join.  He was already a volunteer in the program and couldn't quit talking about it.  I had vision in my head of burning buildings and fire hoses and using the jaws of life to save people and for a 14 year old, that can be very exciting and scary at the same time.  So down to the station I went, and I got to meet some of the guys.

These guys were the coolest guys I ever met.  I was hooked instantly.  My mom was divorced and I never saw my real father (which wasn't a bad thing).  My step father worked tons of hours so he wasn't around much and he and I never connected too well anyway.  But these guys were all father figures for me.  Many of them had a tremendous influence on who I would become later in life.  Meeting them for the first time, I was awestruck.  They came from all walks of life, held all kinds of paying jobs, but all gave their time and effort freely for the betterment of the community.  The Chief had kids around my age but most of the guys didn't have kids.  They didn't treat us like kids though.  They treated us like one of the guys.  Now don't get me wrong, they had standards for the cadets, high standards.  You had to act like a professional.  You had to get good grades or risk being suspended.  They wanted to see your report card.  Life as a cadet didn't come without a bit of razzing and general rookie abuse.  We became very good at washing firetrucks.

No cadet could ride on a fire truck.  I am fairly sure it was for insurance purposes and general safety.  No cadet was going into a burning building.  There was training, and lots of it.  There were classes held in the station and out of town as well.  You weren't getting close enough to fire for you to keep warm, let alone risk being hurt.  Being a cadet is about learning and growing.  A cadets duties on calls were limited to directing traffic, being a gopher (go for this and go for that), making sure they guys got water, and general clean up both on scene and back at the station.  Your primary duty was to watch and learn.

Getting to the calls was always interesting as well.  As I said, cadets do not ride fire trucks.  So you would gear up and stand outside the station while the trucks rolled.  If you were lucky, there were more firefighters at the station than the truck could hold, so someone would drive a personal vehicle and you could hop in.  If not, you waited until one of the guys who lived farther away drove past and stopped to pick you up.

If you hoped to progress, you had to train.  Training wasn't limited to fire either.  Medical training was also important.  I got my CPR certification relatively quickly, then first aid.  After that EMT and eventually I was certified in Advanced Life Support when I was 18.  You went to fire schools on weekends all around the state.  Trench rescue, brush fires, confined space rescue, Firefighter level 1, 2, and 3.  You had to learn to use the tools.  The jaws of life, the pumps on the trucks, self contained breathing apparatus (the air tanks), the types of hoses and what they were used for.  You had to know where everything was on the truck, what compartment it was in, what it was used for, and what the official name for it was.  One of the officers would drill you on this and you had to be cleared on the truck by one of them.  If you missed anything, you failed and had better study more.  They cared about your success and would take their personal time to make sure you got any help you needed.  You even had to be cleared to slide down the fire pole!

The fire station had a couple of bunk rooms and I spent many nights there.  It was my home away from home.  You got to know everyone of the guys and gals.  The firefighters wives were great and we had a few female firefighters too.  They were every bit as qualified as the rest of us.

I have tons of stories and memories of the calls I went on.  (future blogs for sure!)  I saw many things, some great, some terrible.  I have saved lives and sadly, people have died.  I have spent time in hospitals, ambulances, burning buildings, putting out fires in cars, houses, and fields.  We even had a call for a pillow on fire in the intersection of the road.  Car crashes, carbon dioxide detectors going off, hazardous material spills, airplane crashes, train wrecks, and a skateboard accident.  Heart attacks, mailbox fires, kids pulling the alarm at a hospital, testing radiation detectors just in case of a nuclear power plant accident, and taking Santa Claus around neighborhoods on the truck for kids to see.  I have been so lucky to been a part of it all.

There were firetrucks and guys at my wedding.  They offered to have my wife deliver our first child in the fire station on a gurney. (to which my wife less than politely declined, wonder why?)  I spent 7 years as a volunteer, until I moved away.   I miss it everyday and especially when I hear sirens.  Between Crohn's disease and my work schedule, I do not have the time and ability to commit back to doing it again.  But I do miss it.  It made me who I am today and for that I am eternally grateful.  The things I saw and the things I learned are invaluable.

My son, ironically enough, is 14 years old.  He volunteers now.  But not as a firefighter.  He is in the civil air patrol, an offshoot of the Air Force.  I am very proud of him as he has been promoted several times since joining.  He wants to join the Air Force when he graduates school.  The things he is learning there are changing who he is, just like what happened to me when I was his age.  He got to "fly" his first airplane recently.  They took a group of rookies up in the air and let them get behind the stick.  He was instantly hooked.  The guys there take an active interest in him.  They care about his grades.  They train him.  Sound familiar?

Has volunteering shaped your life in any way?  Do you have a story to share?  Post comments below.

Taxes - Uncle Sam Loves Ya!

Note:  Some of what I am about to say, you may or may not agree with.  I am ok with that.  I am glad we live in a country that allows both of us to express our opinions, even when they might differ.  I am guessing this post will garner quite a bit of discussion.  I only ask that all comments are kept clean and respectful to each other.

I did my taxes the other day.  It was depressing.  Not as bad as it could have been, but still depressing.  I understand the need to pay taxes.  I agree with paying my fair share.  I want the government to be able to provide me with the things that there is no way I could provide for myself.  I can't pave a road.  An army of one is not actually a literal thing, I need them to do that for me.  Education, police, courts, ect, all of these are very important tasks that my tax dollars (and yours if you are in the US) go to cover.  And I gladly give up my money to pay for these things.

So why am I so depressed about doing my taxes?

Well, philosophically, I have always been of the opinion that taxes should go to cover the things that I cannot provide for myself.  I am also a believer in a limited welfare system, one that is meant to help people get on their feet and not make them dependent on it.  I am even ok with our nation providing for a limited amount of international welfare.  I think its awesome that our country chips in and helps nations recover from disasters. However, beyond this is where I and my country seem to differ in opinion.  Our government seems to believe that there is no actual cap to spending.

You and I, like anyone else on this planet, have a limited amount of money.  Even Bill Gates has a limited amount of money, even if his limit is slightly more than mine.  Each month, my wife and I sit down, we look at the money we bring in, we pay out the bills, and what is left at the end is either saved, used to reduce debt, or we spend it.  Much of this process is automated (thank you online banking!), but the process still occurs.  In our past, it wasn't uncommon for us to have to decide if some things needed to be cut, or unfortunately, like any couple who struggles, even not pay something on time.  You can only NOT pay something for so long however, as the people you owe seem to get a bit snippy when they don't get paid and they might even come get your things for not paying.  In this country, in the last few years, foreclosures on homes have been at all time highs.  See, when you don't pay your bills, that happens.  Unless you are the government.

Sometimes you have to look at your expenses and decide to cut some of them.  People will reduce or eliminate cable/satellite TV, find cheaper forms of auto insurance, not go out to eat, turn the thermostat back a bit, or even make harsher decisions like getting a 2nd or 3rd job, selling off personal assets, or going without insurance at all so they can make ends meet.  Sucks, but thats reality.  Unless you are the government.

We have to make hard decisions every day.  Herein lies the issue.  Some people in our country seem to think that the government should provide for them.  I don't mean temporary assistance, I mean they actually want the government to provide for them.  Big Daddy Warbucks style.  People demand the government extend unemployment benefits, provide a greater welfare system, provide national forms of healthcare.  In principle, I have issues with some of this, but even if I fully supported all the initiatives that are out there now, the bottom line is quite simple, our government cannot afford it.  More specifically, we the taxpayer cannot afford it.

If my kids came to me and said "Dad, give me $50." and I didn't have $50 to give, they wouldn't get it.  Sounds simple enough.  Even if I did have it, they still might not get it.  I believe all things should be earned.

Our nation needs strong leadership.  Leaders who are unafraid to make the unpopular choices and decisions.  Frankly, we need a leader who is willing to make the decision to cut things, just as we do in our own households.  Since 1970, we have had a balanced budget 4 times.  In 42 years, with the exception of 4 years, we have outspent what we brought in.  It wouldn't even be possible for any of us to do that, you would be bankrupt and homeless long before then.

The national debt is currently $135,482 per taxpayer right now.  Our national debt exceeds our nations GDP.  Our current nations liabilities, between Social Security, Prescription Drugs, and Medicare are over $117 trillion dollars, or put another way, over $1 million dollars per taxpayer.  These are just the factual numbers.  I am a realist.  I never want to see people suffer, but the cold hard reality is that without hard, unpopular choices being made, the suffering will increase.  We can no longer afford to keep passing out the benefits as they are, foreign or domestic, and we can no longer afford to spend more than we make.

So back to the original question, why am I depressed?

Reality.  In each of our lives we have but two ways to get a budget in line.  Earn more or spend less. (or some combination of the two most likely)  For the government to earn more they must collect more taxes.  That means taxing those of us who are paying more, or getting more people into taxpaying situations.  For the government to spend less, they have to cut programs.  In our case, cutting frivolous programs is not a complete answer.  I fear we have gone too far and now we have to go from cutting the fat to cutting into the bone.  Good, worthwhile programs, that help the American people will have to take hard cuts or even be eliminated all together.  To implement a national healthcare system, and still balance the budget and reduce the national debt, even more would have to be cut from somewhere else.  The problem is, our history shows that we don't cut spending, we only increase it.  What programs should be cut?  Who suffers?  How do we increase the nations income to cover our expenses and start to eliminate some of the debt?  All questions that require hard and unpopular answers.

How much more of the money that I and my wife work hard to earn, so that we can provide for our family, should be taken from me to provide for others?  At what point do we decide that there are some things the government is not meant to provide?  Or do we just decide that a tax rate of 50% is acceptable and in exchange we will all become dependent upon our government.  Do we want to rely on our government that much?  I don't.  I would rather rely on myself.

This year my household income was on par with last years.  This year, I paid more in taxes than last year.  This is not a trend I like, but its reality.  What is really scary is that the national debt increased.  How high will my taxes go in the future?

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Thank you for all the great feedback.  I really appreciate it.  As always, feel free to leave comments below.