Brrr, ice bucket challenge!

It's been a while...

Over two years actually.  What kept me away you ask?  A combination of lack of inspiration, an excess of other thing occupying my time, and several bouts of Crohn's, Fibromyalgia, and Psoriatic Arthritis.  Few things suck as badly as not being able to walk.  I realized very quickly that having to depend on someone else to do things for me is NOT something I was to experience long term.  I have my own pharmacy at home now with all the medications they have me on and most of them have side effects that affect my mood or just generally make me feel like a walking pile of crap.

When I first started writing this blog I had absolutely no idea what to write about and after two years off, I still have no idea what to write about.  So rather than pick a theme for this blog, I say let there be no theme and I will just write about whatever comes to mind.

Today I want to write about the ALS ice bucket challenge.

I was in the store the other day and heard two younger ladies excitedly discussing the challenge and how their whole office was going to participate the next day.  I couldn't help but to think how great this is.  It spreads the word on what ALS is, raises some money for the cause, and just elevates overall awareness.  It is something I would love to see done for other diseases (like Crohn's Disease for example).

Unless someone has been personally impacted either by having a disease themselves or knowing someone who has it, most people are woefully ignorant to those who suffer with them.  We occasionally see someone in a wheelchair or speaking via a computer and know that something is wrong, but after a few minutes we return to the things that are important to us.  And that is the key really.  For change to occur, it must be important to us.  This ice bucket challenge is great for lifting awareness but keeping it in the forefront of the mind is what will drive true change.

I am curious to know how many people who have participated in the challenge actually know what ALS is.  I would guess some people are being swept up into the excitement of the masses and are just participating without truly reading up on what they are supporting.  If you are one of those people, please take a few minutes to go to wikipedia or some other resource and read up on ALS.  (personal plug:  check out Crohn's Disease too!)

First impression in relationships

This particular blog topic is not going to be fair.  You cannot judge a person on one small snippet of their life, including one Facebook post.  I know this, so do you.  What you are about to see is just a snapshot.  It's one post and one opinion.  We can make a ton of inferences based on what we see, but they all could very well be completely wrong.

When I saw this a few things came to mind, but there were two things that interested me most about this particular post.  The fact that it was a response by a woman to a post by a man and what exactly my son (15 years old) would think about what he would see.  So here it is (click the image to zoom more clearly):

I think its a fathers responsibility to teach their sons about finding the right woman and being the right man.  I do my best not to tell my son what to think but to help him to see alternative points of view and make good choices.  So I asked him what he thought about this.

Me:  Son, read this and tell me what you think.

(5 seconds later)

Son:  Uh, Dad.  I can't understand what she is saying.  She can't spell and I can't read it.

Me:  That's ok, take your time and skip the parts you can't make out quite yet and maybe you can figure it out.

(3 full minutes later)

Son:  Wow, that was hard.

Me:  What do you think?  Would you go out with this kind of girl?

Son:  No, I think she is retarded.

Me:  Why do you think that?  

Son:  She is either really dumb cause she can't write or she is trying to sound dumb, which is dumb anyway.

My first thought was she is intentionally trying to come off as cool.  When I first read it, I was intrigued.  This is a single woman, posting in reply to a single man.  The thing about this particular single man, I know him.  He is a good guy.  Works hard, writes intelligently, and just hasn't found that special someone quite yet.  I know he will, its just a matter of time.  Frankly, he is what women say they want.

Why did this intrigue me?  This reply is by a single woman with 3 kids.  She has made a few broad assumptions about men that I am guessing has to be based on her experience.  Things like, and I am paraphrasing for everyone's sake, "Men nowadays just want a woman to take care of them while they sit on their butt's and party."  Based on that, I inferred that she wants a man who has their act together, can contribute, and won't take advantage of her.  Really, what woman doesn't want that?  It makes perfect sense.  But the way she chose to communicate this tells me another story.

How many men would read that and based on the first impression say "Wow, this is the woman for me!"  She writes like she is trying to come off as gangster or cool.  I asked several of my male friends what they thought in reading this, as a first impression.  These friends range from 18-38 (not including my 15 year old son), most single, but a few married, all types of races and creeds, and of varying income and educational backgrounds.  Here are some of the thoughts they had.

"After hearing the first sentence I would walk away.  I have a girl that speaks proper English, not an idiot, and doesn't have 3 kids.  Most important though, its the ignorance I just can't stand."


"I was turned off after the first sentence"


"I think she is trying too hard to be ghetto, when she is saying she wants a man who has it all together, which usually isn't someone who is ghetto."


"Oh come on now!  Who doesn't find that attractive?  Oh yeah, me"


"I think talking like that is a turn off for me.  I am picky and hearing that would piss me off.  I'd walk away."


"You have to try really hard to sound that stupid."


"Just the way she came out her mouth with the cussing and stuff.  That's not lady like to me. The words she used that's not cool. I want somebody that's real I don't want somebody that tries to hard."


I said at the beginning, this isn't exactly fair, but what men see as a first impression shapes how they will treat a girl.  


"I don't see her as someone I would bring home to mom.  I do see her as someone I would bring back somewhere and make sure she has a wrong phone number the next morning."


"I see girls like this all the time, they say one thing, but they act another way.  They don't want respect cause they don't treat themselves with respect."


"Heck no, I wouldn't try to be with her in long-term nor short. Her mentality is so general and stereotypical that it'd be impossible for me to consider making the first step. People like that tend to be very hard to change, and if she's got that bad of a mentality about all men, then I'd be unable to work to make her trust me, which is half of a relationship."


"I wouldn't ever think to hook up with someone like this because of the fact that she let that situation get so bad. She obviously picked the wrong men and is now just looking for someone to foot the bill for her instead of finding someone that really means something to her."


"Well, I would never try to hook up with her ever.  She's a hood rat, uneducated, and sounds like she did a song with Dr. Dre.  She will never do much with her life cause she will hunt for a man who will give her the life she wants."


Relationships are never actually 50/50, at least not all the time.  If you want to know where I come up short, just ask my wife, she has a laundry list.  I haven't been single in a very long time, but if I were, and this were the first impression I had of this girl, I would wonder what exactly someone like this would have to offer in a long term relationship.  I don't expect perfection, but anyone who doesn't think they are being judged all the time is fooling themselves.  We are all judged.  Maybe she doesn't care what people think.  I can absolutely respect that.  I have made it a habit of not caring what others think, especially when it came to getting married in High School and having kids so young.  But that too comes with a price.  There are some opportunities that have closed behind me that I can never recapture, because I did not care what they thought about me.  We can never have it both ways.  We want someone to care for us and be responsible but those people want things too.  Some want a girl to be a lady.  Some want a girl they can bring home to mom.  Some want no baggage.  It's very possible that there is someone out there looking for a foul mouthed girl who cannot write intelligently with 3 kids and a ton of mental baggage and I hope she finds them and I hope they are what she is looking for too.

Please don't judge the comments she made too harshly, nor the comments that they people I asked either.  Her comment is just a snapshot in time, and their comments are a first impression based solely on what they saw.  But I do think its a very eye opening lesson for everyone, myself included to ask "Am I coming across the way I want to?" and "Do I judge too harshly based on first impressions?"  This is for you to decide.


Finally, to end with the last part of the conversation between my son and I:

Me:  Based on what you read, do you think this girl has anything to offer in a long term relationship?


Son:  Sure, 3 kids and money problems.


I do love my son!  :)

Please feel free to share and post comments below.

A fine line between representation and repression

I am no expert on politics.  I am no expert on the constitution.  I may not be an expert in anything actually.  But I do have opinions.  There is a saying about opinions but since I like to keep my blogs family friendly, I will leave that to your imagination.  The topic today is one that everyone has been expressing their opinions on, Obamacare.

Firstly, I find it to be quite scary how uneducated the majority of the population is about this subject.  I do not profess to be an expert in this either, but I have done some research.  Here are a few things I think are important to know about this Act.

• Insurance companies will now be required to offer coverage to people with pre-existing conditions (except tobacco use)
• If you do not have private insurance (be it through work, Medicare, Medicaid, or buying it on your own), you will participate or you will pay a tax.  (except in cases of religious exclusion or financial hardship)
• Medicaid eligibility is expanded.  If your income is within 133% of the poverty level, you qualify.
• Low income families get this coverage subsidized.  (paid for via our tax dollar)  For example, a family of 4 could have coverage for about $50/mo if their income were 150% of the poverty level.
• Insurance companies can no longer have annual and lifetime caps, meaning you don't lose your insurance if you use it.
• Companies with 50 or more employees will have a "shared responsibility" (ie. a tax) if the government is subsidizing any of their employees healthcare.
• Copays and deductibles will be eliminated for some types of benefits like preventative care

There is a lot more to it, but I think these are the most important parts.  

Here's where my opinion comes in.  Healthcare for everyone is not a bad thing.  Anyone of the millions of Americans without healthcare will love this plan, as they should.  I have no need of this plan, but that does not mean others might not.  However, I do not support this plan for a number of reasons.  First off, and I think this is most critical, we did not vote for it.  Well, we did not vote for it directly.  We voted in the legislators and the President to represent us.  They put this in place, so indirectly, we did ask for it.  But with something so major, it should have been decided by the people.  

The reason this got through the Supreme Court was that it does not violate the law because it's a tax.  There is nothing illegal about creating and levying a tax against the people.  It happens all the time.  It's also why people get voted out of office for creating unpopular taxes.  This tax however, is different.  The government is stretching its fingers into territory that scares me.  It is forcing, via tax, the people to participate in health insurance.  One might ask "Jesse, how is this a bad thing?  Having health insurance is good!" but that's not exactly the point.  If the government can tax me in to participating in this, what else could I be forced to participate in?  Healthcare taxes lead to other taxes that force participation in other programs.  How hard is to to envision a nationally sponsored physical fitness standard which would tax those who are a heavier burden on the national healthcare plan?  (of course, that standard would be skewed as not all people of a certain build are unhealthy)  Not meeting the standard would result in an additional tax burden meant to subsidize those who cannot afford to pay.  NY is already trying to ban any sales of soda over 20 oz due to it being allegedly unhealthy so what else can the government force?  Watching too much TV is unhealthy.  Fried foods are unhealthy.  

Yes, it seems that we are stretching into an illogical extreme, but fundamentally, the freedom to choose for ones self is a foundation of our country as a whole.  We choose our religions or not to worship at all.  We choose our professions.  We choose what to watch, what to eat, where to spend our money, ect.  The government is showing that they now have the ability to erode those choices.  We are forced to spend our money at the will of government on a healthcare plan.  We are given the illusion of choice in that we can choose which plan we want to participate in, but it is compulsory, in that we have no choice.

Secondarily, my issue with this comes in the fact that more and more, the government is working to force a balance between those with and those without.  There line between Capitalism and Socialism is a razor's edge.  The reason our nation has grown and prospered was because you keep what you earn.  You get what you are worth.  When the government takes from one group to give to another, the motivation to exceed your current position deteriorates.  National healthcare in this form violates the fundamentals of Capitalism.  The "shared responsibility" concept is that everyone is required to care for everyone else in some capacity and those with must relinquish some of what they have for the greater good of everyone, especially those without.  This is a Socialistic style policy.  I do not wish to start a comparison of good vs bad when it comes to these policies, as they both have good and bad traits.  Where the problem lies is that Socialism places the trust to do the right things in the hands of the bureaucrats and takes it away from the people.  The bureaucrats chose this plan, not the people.  Milton Friedman said "Concentrated power is not rendered harmless by the good intentions of those who create it.  The power to do good is also the power to harm".  I do not question the desire that President Obama had in creation of this plan.  I question the wisdom in making the decision unilaterally.  

Finally, there is the question of money and execution.  This is a welfare policy at is most fundamental.  It has to be paid for and it has to be managed.  Our government has a history of mismanaging money and programs.  The money comes from the taxpayer, both individual and business.  At a time of slow economic recovery, where is the wisdom in creating a new tax?  At a time of higher unemployment, where is the wisdom in creating a policy that forces the small business to decide between job creation and healthcare?  The question should be if the government has the capacity and knowledge required to execute such an ambitious program.  Our current welfare programs are overrun by people who creatively find ways to exploit them to their own personal advantage.  How will this be different?  Based on history, I expect that it won't.  There are programs that should be fixed now but have not been.  

This debate goes far deeper, and I am not even hitting all the important points.  But for the sake of length, I will stop here and ask you "What do you think should be done?"  Personally, I believe that the timing of this is wrong.  I believe the execution of this is wrong.  And I believe that the wrong people are making the decisions.  There is a fine line between representation and repression.  We asked to be represented, not to be forced.

Please feel free to leave comments below.

New online game opens soon!

I love games!

I freely admit it.  I don't try to hide it.  I love games!  All types of games really.  I love sports, which are games.  I love board games.  I love logic games.  Pool (Billiards), Darts, and other pub games.  But of all games, I love video games!  I played my first video game when I was about 6 years old.  We had an old Atari 2600 and I played Pac-Man till I was blue in the face.  Back then, he wasnt even round, he was all blocky and the sound was far from high definition.  From that point on, I was hooked.  Console games on Atari, Nintendo, Sega, Playstation, and Xbox.  Arcade games, pinball machines, and table top plug ins.  And now computer games.  I have been playing online games for years now.  I always thought that one day, I would love to do work for an online gaming company.  Well thankfully for me, that day is June 15th.

I have accepted a position as Community Manager for Innogames.  They are a great company that has many online games such as Tribal Wars, Forge of Empires, and Grepolis.  We are opening a new server dedicated to the players in the United States (and really anywhere else who wants to play) for Grepolis.

Grepolis is a free browser based online game.  Your task to build up your small Polis (Greek for town) to a huge metropolis, establish a powerful army and navy and finally conquer islands far away. On your trip to glory and honor, you should also take care of the gods of the Greek Parthenon: Zeus, Hera, Athena, Hades or Poseidon. Their favor could be essential in your victory or defeat.

My job is to make sure that all players follow the rules, enjoy the game, and keep things running smoothly.  We have forums dedicated for players to learn and communicate with one another.  They can be found at http://forum.us.grepolis.com/forum.php.  They are open to any player who is registered to play the game on the server.  The server hasn't opened yet, and we haven't announced a start date, but I am told that it will be VERY soon.  

One of the things I find really neat is that over 6 million players around the world are registered to play the game.  It is insanely popular!  There are versions for most languages available.  There is an international version where players from around the world play all on the same server.  I am sure that our server will attract players from other countries as well, but this server is dedicated to being in English so no worries about communication.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a television commercial the other day on Comedy Central during South Park for the game too.  It was well done and tells me that my company cares about its success.  

I am very excited about this opportunity and just wanted to share it with my readers.  I would love for all of you to come out and play and I will be announcing the release date as soon as it's official.  If you or someone you know enjoy online games, or you were just thinking of trying one, Grepolis might be for you!  Like Grepolis.us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GrepolisUnitedStates.  I hope to see you out there!

Thanks for reading as always and feel free to comment and share!

New baby? Here are some tips!

Many of my friends have had babies in recent months and since I have 2 children (almost grown) I have received tons of questions about taking care of children.  As always, I strive to offer the soundest of advice, so here are some tips that will help you!

As always, I am here to help!  Please feel free to comment and/or share!

Bacon related crime

Bacon....

Mmmmmmmm, bacon!!!!

Yes folks, bacon.  I have only met one person who told me that they didn't like bacon.  I am sure there are more people who should have their heads examined, but so far I have met only one.  Everything is better with bacon.  Bacon is one of the few foods that are generally expected to be seen at every meal.  Bacon and eggs for breakfast, BLT for lunch, Bacon wrapped filet mignon for dinner.  Bacon is just as good fried, broiled, and microwaved.  I love bacon.  I am betting that most of you do too.  But like all things, there are a few people who take their love of bacon to an illogical extreme.  Here are just a few of those stories.

1.  Don't touch Grandma's bacon!


June 28, 2011, a nine year old boy decided that he wanted a couple extra pieces of bacon at breakfast.  What happened next is best explained by the police report that followed...

To summarize, witnesses stated that Mrs. Kolynych had chased her 9-year-old grandson through the yard. She threw him to the ground and was sitting on top of him, pinning him down and beating him on his legs. She was spraying water at very close range into (the child’s) face. The nozzle setting of the hose was on full force.

During the alleged assault on the lawn, the child was yelling for help, screaming, kicking and squirming in attempts to get away, officials said. “He was able to break free and ran across the street, using a neighbor’s phone to call his mother,” Press wrote in the affidavit.

 The child’s mother was able to separate the two, with Kolynych allegedly giving chase again after the boy. “Apparently, he ate more bacon than anyone else at breakfast,” Press said. “She was yelling at him and picking on him all day because there wasn’t enough bacon for everyone.”

Kolynych was arraigned on charges of endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment and disorderly conduct.

Lesson:  Don't mess with Grandma's bacon.

2.  Late night hunger crime? 


Late night, 2 men and a kid, all hungry.  What to do, what to do?  According to an Anderson police probable cause affidavit, police received an alarm at Strong’s Market, 1909 W. Eighth St. When police arrived just after 1 a.m., an officer saw two men standing behind the store and a second walking out of the freezer carrying a box. When the officer activated his lights and sirens the three suspects ran — two dropping boxes as they ran. What were they carrying you ask?  Boxes of bacon.   The value of the bacon was about $90.

3.  Gimme my pan!


A dispute over the ownership of a frying pan Friday night led to third-degree burns for one South Bend man and 11 stitches for another, police reports said.  A 49-year-old man was cooking bacon on the stove at a house in the 600 block of Lincoln Way East when his 47-year-old brother-in-law claimed the pan was his, the report said. The argument led to the man cooking cornering the younger man into a closet and spilling hot grease on the younger man. The report said the 47-year-old then grabbed the pan from his attacker and hit him in the head twice.


The 49-year-old was taken to an area hospital were he received 11 stitches before being arrested for assault, the report said. But the man who received third-degree burns on his hands told police he did not wish to press charges.  Police did report finding two pieces of bacon in the closet.



4.  No good deed goes unpunished


A Winder man reported he let a woman enter his residence to use the bathroom and she repaid the favor by helping herself to meats from his refrigerator.

The complainant said he had let the woman in to use his bathroom and then heard her open his refrigerator before leaving. When the man checked, he noticed ham, pork chops and bacon missing.

The resident told police he knows the woman from the neighborhood as she was living in a shack behind a house nearby.


5.  Hotel bacon 


 Andre wanted some bacon.  He wasn't gonna let anything stop him.  Who cares if he is on probation for prior offenses. He decided to walk into the Holiday Inn on April 1 as if he were heading to a room. On his way to the back he detoured through the kitchen where he helped himself to two cases of bacon and six cases of waffles. 


Everyone knows, Holiday Inn bacon is the best hotel bacon money can buy.  (or that you can try to get on a five finger discount)

Please share and leave comments below!

Ways to get her to fall in love with you!

Todays blog comes from the Just Jesse email box.  Frequent reader R. Boothy writes:

Just Jesse,

There is a cute girl I want to date.  She finally agreed to go out with me but I have no clue what to do.  Help!

R Boothy

Well Boothy, I haven't been on the dating scene in a while but I am happy to try to help.  Actually, I got married 17 years ago and really was never on the dating scene, but hey, how hard can it really be?  Here are a few tips I have to make your upcoming date a great one!

1.  Show up late.


The thing you have to understand about women is that they are creatures of habit.  They spend lots of time in the bathroom doing make-up, hair, nails, rebuilding small engines, unlocking the secrets of the universe, ect.  Have you ever waited on a woman in the bathroom???  Yeah, it takes a while.  They hate to be rushed.  They expect you to already know this so you will really impress your date by showing up late.  If your date is at 7:00 pm, then the rule of thumb is to add a minimum of two hours to this.  Show up at 9:00, instant brownie points.  If for some reason showing up late isn't possible, then show up really early and then complain while you have to wait.  The female brain is wired a bit different so she will translate "Geez, could you BE any slower?" to "My darling, I cannot bear to wait any longer to be in the presence of your beauty!"  Trust me, complaints equal compliments.

2.  Use public transportation


You have seen the commercials with the hot woman fawning all over the sports car or the luxury automobile, right?  That's false advertising.  Women love men who are environmentally conscious.  Nothing says "I want lower greenhouse emissions" than taking the bus.  Less cars on the road are sexy to women.  Public transportation also gives you the chance to show her that you don't shy away from the important issues in society like homelessness.  Sit as close as you can to the grungiest, smelliest homeless guy that you can.  Show her you care.  Also, ask her if she has a $20 bill.  Then give it to the homeless guy.  This shows how much you care about the world.  

3.  Compliments


Here is an area where you can really shine.  Make sure you compliment her.  But you must be creative.  Stay away from things like "That is a beautiful dress" and "You have the most beautiful eyes".  They hear that stuff all the time and lets be honest, women think it gets old.  Being complimented on your looks and clothes is just overdone.  Instead, compliment her on things she hasn't been told before.  Things like "Wow, your hairdresser does a great job plucking your mustache, you can hardly see the 5 o'clock shadow!" or "Most women wouldn't wear shoes that accentuate their cankles that way, but you pull it off nicely!"  

4.  Dinner


Most dates consist of some meal, usually dinner.  Now you have a couple of options here.  Most women enjoy the finer things in life, so be sure to select somewhere really nice.  Upscale and high dollar.  However, today's woman believes firmly in things like gender equality.  Show her you fully support her stance on this by letting her pick up the check.  Commonly this is an area where she will test you to see if you are really the man of her dreams.  After all, after showing up late, using public transportation, and the bevy of compliments you give, she is already thinking you are too good to be true.  It could seem a bit awkward when the check comes and she stares blankly at you.  THIS IS HER TESTING YOU.  Stand your ground and if more than a few minutes passes, gently slide the check toward her and nod your head.  She will take this as a sign that you do not have to be the dominate one in this relationship and she is free to practice gender equality.  

5.  The Goodbye


It's the end of the date, the bus had dropped you both off about 2 blocks from her place and you are walking her home.  Show her your athletic prowess by speed walking to her place.  She might seem to lag behind a little bit but thats because after she was so dominate by paying the check, she wants to show you that she cares enough about your equality to let you beat her to the door.  This is a sign that she might be ready for that proverbial "cup of coffee".  She might play coy and say something like "Uh yeah, you don't have to call me tomorrow or anything, just lose my number".  This translates to "You dont have to call me tomorrow cause I will be seeing you at breakfast!".  Women enjoy it when the man takes the lead in these cases.  Grab her by the waist, pull her in tight, and shove your tongue directly down her gullet.  This is especially important if you had a lot to drink at dinner.  Share her chewing gum too, its a sign of commitment.  


R Boothy, I hope these hints help you out on this once in a lifetime opportunity date with the woman of your dreams.  As always, I am happy to help my loyal readers.  Please feel free to comment below and share with anyone who could use these tips to secure a lifelong and happy relationship!

The preceding was meant as humor.  I sure hope to hell that none of you actually go out and do anything like this, but if you do - a. - I am not responsible and b. - please mail me right away and tell me in detail what happens!  PS - No dogs were harmed in the writing of this blog, especially drowned, no drowning, I promise  (inside joke)