What a horrible way to barely make a living...

I was 14 years old.

In the state of Virginia you have to be 14 to be able to get a workers permit.  With a workers permit, you can get a job, assuming someone will give you one, but there are heavy restrictions of how long, when, and what you can do.  I wasn't getting an allowance, like other kids my age.  There were things I wanted. Namely, games for my Nintendo.  My Nintendo was a gift from my grandfather, one of the few things I ever got as a gift.  When it came to presents from my Mom and Stepdad, they mostly consisted of cheap clothes. I wasn't gonna get Nintendo games for a birthday, or Christmas, or any other day.  If I wanted them I had to get a job and make enough money to buy them.  This seems quite fair now that I am an adult, but as a kid, not so much so.  I learned the value of a dollar quickly back in those days, especially when I bought my first car, paid for my car insurance, and provided myself with just about every other essential except the roof over my head and the occasional meal from the kitchen.  They gave me the basic necessities to live, I bought the rest with my own money.

I walked into the guidance counselors office at the school and asked for a workers permit.  The process was quite simple.  Fill out a postcard sized form, have your parents sign it, have your prospective employer sign it, turn it back in, and BANG, you join the ranks of the working world.

My first (W-2 producing, not paid under the table) job was with a company that I will leave nameless.  It was a RESEARCH FARM in the SOUTHERN STATES of the country.  I actually held two jobs with this company. The first was feeding chickens and gathering eggs.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Well, it was, but it was also slightly more involved than what you think.  There were several chicken houses, with several hundred chickens in each (maybe in the thousand range, its been a while, cut me some slack).  Each house had a special feed and the research farm wanted to test if certain feeds helped the chickens produce more eggs.  So you had to measure out a very specific amount of feed per cage, and count the eggs that were produced.  All of this had to be documented on a clipboard.  My job was to do the Sunday shift.  The research farm was about 9 miles from my house, and all I had was my trusty bike.  So I would shoot off, pedal to the farm, feed chickens, gather and document the number of eggs, and pedal back.  All for a whopping $4.25/hour.

If you have never been in a chicken house, count yourself lucky.  The chicken houses were cinder block buildings that echoed badly.  With several hundred chickens all making the most ungodly racket you ever heard, it was piercing.  If you made a loud noise, like slamming the door, they would all hush, but that only lasted 5 seconds or so before the roar of the chickens reached deafening tones again.  In addition, chickens do NOT like it when you take their eggs.  The wire cages were just large enough for a chicken to fit its head through the wire mesh and peck your hand as you reached for the eggs.  Now I am a huge animal lover. Ask anyone who knows me, I have a zoo at my house.  Birds, dogs, lizards, rabbits, you name it, I love it.  I would NEVER condone the abuse of an animal, ever.  However, the person who trained me showed me a trick to getting the eggs from a cage where the chicken wouldn't let you in.  You open the door, grab the chicken around the neck, and shake it head back at forth a couple of times.  This causes the chicken to get dizzy and gives you enough time to grab the eggs.  Picture a dizzy chicken.  Yep, its exactly what you see in your head.

My other job at the research farm was pollinating corn.

Yes, pollinating corn.

I thought it didn't require human intervention either, but at the research farm, it does.  They wanted to test different strains of pollen to see which created the largest ears of corn, I think.  The details are a bit fuzzy as I didn't exactly pay attention back then to the why, and it was a very long time ago.  Picture this, its 95 degrees Fahrenheit (35 degrees Celcius for my International readers).  You have to wear long pants and long sleeved shirts or be horribly itchy all day, and you are in the middle of a corn field, pollinating corn.

The process was simple enough.  Little while sleeves over the ears of corn to cover the fibers where the pollen would go.  Brown paper bags go over the top of the stalk, stapled shut so nothing could get in.  Ear after ear, stalk after stalk, row after row, acre after acre.  Sounds exciting right?  Riiiiight.

And yes, all for $4.25/hour.

I have been a dishwasher, a busboy, bailed hay, and done countless other jobs for little to no pay.  I think that's why I worked so hard when I got better paying jobs.  I wanted more and was willing to work for it, because I knew what was worse.  And welfare wasn't an option.

My daughter got her first job recently.  She works at an unnamed restaurant.  They serve seafood. LOBSTERS, ones that are RED.  She buses tables, and after she gets her cut of the tips, makes between $11-$12/hour.  She likes her job and more importantly, she likes earning her own money.  She is starting to learn the value of a dollar as well.  We make her save half, and usually she saves more than that on her own. I wont go into the politics on this blog post, but imagine how much better off our country would be if everyone worked hard, learned the value of a dollar and was more concerned with earning it, rather than having it given to them.

What was your first job?  Was it terrible?  Leave comments and thoughts below.  Also, please share with others!

People say the darndest things...

Public figures have been saying stupid things since the beginning of time.  Back in 1968, presidential candidate George Wallace uttered this gem, "I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.”  Great work George!  In describing the state of the world, Dwight Eisenhower was quoted saying, "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."  Imagine that!  And of course, Jessica Simpson confirmed to the world her genius with this statement, "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'"

Today, not only do we have the media to catch brilliant statements but folks choose to impart their wisdom through 140 characters on a regular basis.  Yes, Twitter, the gift that helps celebrities keep on giving!  Social media allows us to get far closer to public figures than ever before.  We can read the most intimate, if not always the most intelligent, thoughts of just about anyone and everyone.

Earlier this week, a mayor in East Haven Connecticut, made the headlines with his failure to use his brain before speaking.  Frustrated with questions about investigations into his town's police department and the abuse of Latinos, when asked how he would start to repair relations, he replied. “I might have tacos when I go home. I’m not quite sure yet.”


As one might imagine, this didn't sit too well with the Latino community.  The group, Reform Immigration for America, based in Washington, DC decided to help him with his task.  The group launched a “text for taco” campaign Wednesday, asking people to text “Taco” to 69866 to show support for the East Haven Latino community and condemn the mayors comments.  

Over 500 tacos have been delivered, with the rest being being diverted to a local food bank.  He has made two public apologies already.  I would bet he never wants to see another taco again!

The recent political candidates have provided us with tons of really stupid things to read.  Some of my favorites include:

• Michele Bachmann said ''What I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too.''  Unfortunately for her, the John Wayne she was referring to was not from Waterloo, Iowa.  John Wayne Gacey (notorious serial killer) was.
• Herman Cain, trying to warn us all of the dangers that China presents said ''They [China] have indicated that they're trying to develop nuclear capability and they want to develop more aircraft carriers like we have. So yes, we have to consider them a military threat.''  I guess he wasn't aware that they have had nuclear weapons since 1964.
• Poor Rick Perry ''I will tell you: It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the -- what's the third one there? Let's see. ... OK. So Commerce, Education and the -- ... The third agency of government I would -- I would do away with the Education, the ... Commerce and -- let's see -- I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops.''  Energy Rick, it's Energy!
• Newt Gingrich, quoted speaking to a friend back in 1980 about why he was divorcing his wife ''She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a President. And besides, she has cancer.''' Compassionate conservatism at its best!
• Rick Santorum on former military POW and torture survivor John McCain ''[John McCain] doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works. I mean, you break somebody, and after they're broken, they become cooperative.''  Nope, no doubt, McCain has no idea how torture works.
• And finally, Mitt Romney, with an estimated net worth of over $250 million dollars, trying to connect with the people of Florida said ''I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed.''  Yeah Mitt, just like the common people, you are hurting too.

Fair and balanced stupidity you ask?  These are just a few Obama quotes.

• "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."   I see dead people, all the time.
• "I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go."  Thats how you win an election, out work the other guys, most only hit 50 states.
• "In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed."  Speaking about a tornado that hit Kansas and killed 12 people.

Heard any particularly stupid quotes recently?  Comment below.

Finally, I appreciate the comments, but I have no idea who is posting when it shows up anonymous.  That is fine if you want to be anonymous.  I can understand not wanting to create an account to post.  If you would just post your name at the end of the comment (should you want to include it, not a requirement) it would let me know who you are.  Also, if you think others would enjoy reading, please share on Facebook.

Thanks all and have a wonderful weekend!

Best Vacation Ever!

Those of you who know me, know that I absolutely LOVE taking cruises.  Lately I have been getting a lot of questions from friends wanting to know if recent events have turned me off from cruising.  For those who don't know, on January 13th (yes, Friday the 13th) the Costa Concordia, sailing out of Italy, sunk.

Scary, right?

4,197 passengers and crew had to be evacuated.  So far 16 people have died, including 15 passengers and one crewman; 64 others were injured (three seriously) and 17 are missing.  Word is that the Captain, in his infinite wisdom, decided to ignore the computers that were telling him the correct route to follow to avoid rocks so that he could show off for people on the nearby island.  (Note to self:  If I ever become a ship captain, dont do that)  According to first hand reports the rest of the crew aboard the Concordia acted amazingly.  Not enough good things can be said about how the crew reacted in this emergency.  

That brings me to the question at hand:  Has this put me off cruising?

Answer:  AN EMPHATIC NO!


Here is the why:  Since 1979, only 4  ships of major cruise lines have sunk  (including the Concordia). Compared to any other form of travel, this is simply amazing.  Accidents happen.  Planes crash, boats sink, cars and buses crash, and trains derail.  Thats just a fact of life and the risk one takes when traveling.  Lets focus on the positives of cruising!

It is one of the least expensive ways to vacation.  We took the kids on a cruise as our big "gift" for Christmas this year.  We went in November.  It was for 8 days, 7 nights, on the Carnival Liberty.  It was, by far, the best vacation we have had to date.  We went to Cozumel Mexico, Grand Cayman Islands, Roatan Bay Honduras, and Belize.  We got to do things that we would be hard pressed to do here.  In Honduras, we chartered Victor Bodden Tours to take us anywhere we wanted to go on the island ($60 for the entire day).  We got to play with monkeys.  Really, how often do you get to look at a complete stranger and say "Would you like to touch my monkey?" and not get slapped???  

My 14 year old son, who eats like a horse, got to eat anything and everything he could get his hands on.  24/7.  Most importantly, we got to have family time.  At the age of our kids, we don't have much time left to do things like this.  They will be grown and going off to college soon enough.  

All the onboard entertainment (i.e. magicians, shows, bands, DJ's, swimming pools, hot tubs) were included.  All the food was included.  All for less than $1,400, total, for all 4 of us, not each.  Of course, this didn't include the money we spent on land, getting to the ship, alcohol on board (the biggest expense for most people), casino money (my personal favorite since I won quite a bit), ect.  

This was my 5th cruise and my wife's 7th.  The kids have been on several as well.  Compared to a certain Mickey Mouse operation down south, other all-inclusive vacations, or renting a house at the beach, these all pale in comparison to cruises (in my opinion).  

If you have never cruised before, do yourself a favor, save some money, book one and go.  Even a short cruise (2-3 day) is amazing fun and frankly, less than what you would spend on a nice hotel.

How about you?  Have you been on a cruise?  Whats your best vacation?  Comment below! 

First time, be gentle...

Have you ever been laying in bed, and had the most wonderful thoughts and ideas traveling through your head?  You know the ones, where you have solved homelessness, Middle East peace, the hunger situation, and the national debt.  Well, I haven't ever been quite that brilliant but I think you get the point.  Sometimes, you have thoughts and ideas.  We live in a time where we are lucky enough to have a portal to share these thoughts and ideas, the Internet.  Facebook, Twitter, blogs, websites, and texting all make it convenient to share.

So here is my creation.  A blog.

What do I want this to accomplish?  Heck if I know.  I really just wanted a spot to share randomness.  Sometimes these blogs will be funny (I hope anyway), sometimes serious (not too many), sometimes informative, but always they will be what I am thinking and feeling at the time.  I hope some of you choose to comment, agree, disagree, share, spread the word, and contemplate what it means, if anything, to you.

I have absolutely no idea how often I will update it, but I plan to do so regularly.  I was thinking every few days or once a week, depending on whats burning on my mind.  I want to write about things that are relevant and timely, but occasionally I may do a throwback such as a 2,500 word essay on the merits of sharecropping.  Just kidding.  

So.... On with the show!

Today will be simple, just an introduction to me.

Understanding who I am will help you understand what my blogs mean.  My name is Jesse and I am 35 years old.  I live in Virginia.  I have always lived in Virginia but I have had the good fortune to get around to a few other places.  I am married (which I am sure will be the subject of a blog or two) and I have 2 teenage kids.  I got married in High School, which is something that surprises a lot of people.  I usually get the comment "Wow, most people dont make it that long!".  Its been 17 years, not all great, but not too shabby either.  My daughter is 16 and my son is 14.  I have Crohn's disease.  (a subject for a whole different blog)  I work with businesses to help them get customers from the Internet.  Yep, I sell Internet Advertising!  There are lots of great things about my job and quite a few crappy ones.  This blog will NOT be used to try to sell you anything, so no worries there.  I absolutely LOVE taking cruises, except the Costa Concordia, glad I didn't do that one.

I enjoy making people laugh.  I try to come up with silly thoughts and ideas.  I tell stories about anything and try to get people to smile with my words.  If you have spent any significant time with me, I hope I have made you smile.

I enjoy making people think.  I like to challenge the status quo.  Question the how and the why.  I want people to see things that have always been there but are missed.  Sometimes I will take the opposite side of an argument just for the sake of challenging someone's thoughts, even if I completely agree with them.  Critical thought is seemingly lost in our society.  People are so wrapped up in their own day to day actions that they fail to see a bigger picture and choose to just accept what is happening because its easier than getting involved.

Mostly, I enjoy making people engage each other.  I guess what I would love to see more than anything else is for someone to say "You know what Jesse said?" and then spur on a great debate or discussion.  There are lots of things that I don't like, but I guess those are best left for other blogs.

This is long enough for the first one.  I was told to keep them short, for those with short attention spans.  I can't promise that all the time, but I thought I should start out on a good foot anyway.  So until next time here is something to read and contemplate.